We’ve all been there. Desperate to save money, we book the cheapest flights we can find, only to realise that it will require you to spend an exuberant amount of time in an airport. You probably shrugged at the time. Whatever, I can spend a night in an airport to save R526, you think. But then the time comes. And it looms over your trip like a horrible travel Dementor, because the airport at night is a horrible scary place. Like something out of the Walking Dead, it’s dark, there are tired zombie-like people everywhere and getting sleep is… is just not an option.
Brace yourself, because you’re in for a world of weird.
The first few hours are a breeze. Shops are open, beers are flowing, people everywhere – this is going to be great!
You’ll think you’re real suave wandering through the Duty Free store for the sixth time and trying on your ninth cologne until you smell like a gym locker room.
You’ve finished your book. You’ve watched everything on your laptop. You’ve never been so bored in your entire life.
After succumbing to delirium, you buy ridiculous airport clothes that only appeal to the sleep deprived.
You’ve never envied anyone more than those lucky buggers who are queuing for their flights.
That guy in the red cap looks creepy. Please don’t come over…
At some point you’ll realise that shops actually do close at the airport.
You’ll stare at the airport departure board every ten minutes in the hope that your plane has been moved forward 14 hours.
Eventually, you’ll begin to feel like the airport is your domain.
That moment will pass and you’ll be left crying alone near an empty departure gate.
You’ll find others who share your plight.
But abandon them after becoming tribal over some sacred power outlets.
You’ll lie on the stinking carpet questioning every decision that got you to this low point.
As night settles, you’ll begin to question your sanity.
You’ll start to suspect that everyone’s out to steal your stuff…
Years of Tetris will prepare you for sleeping wedged on an awkward chair.
But every noise is someone sneaking up on you…
Which means sleep is not an option.
When you finally board your plane, you can’t help but cry tears of relief.
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